The 5 (Self) Love Languages
It’s September and if that Full Moon in Pisces knocked you the fuck over (or kept you from sleeping which is my favorite way to spend full moons! Sleepless but with wild dreams! Once a month! The joys of being an empath!) I have some SELF LOVE help backed up by the 5 Love Languages.
If you’ve never heard of the 5 Love Languages you can check out Dr. Gary Chapman’s site here and even take a quiz to find yours. I am a firm believer that we all actually give and receive with different love languages but knowing which ones you lean into is very helpful. I’m giving some tips below for each but in a SELF LOVING way. It’s cool if you have someone to do all these with but I recommend finding some time to connect with your own little loving self this week!
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
-write yourself a love letter. Get mushy. Go deep. Compliment parts of yourself nobody ever notices or maybe parts that only a lover could ever have an awareness of. Fold that baby up and put it in an envelope and MAIL IT TO YOURSELF. Look at that. Self love AND saving the USPS. We love to see it.
-Leave some sticky notes around your living space…this can be a “Girl you look good” on your bathroom mirror. Or “I love your body” near where you get dressed. Just little pick me ups. It’s ok to sign them too as if a lover left them for you to find. Cause they did. Self-love is the theme here.
QUALITY TIME
-totally stealing from The Artists Way (which I just began again for the…3rd? 4th time?) and telling you TAKE YOURSELF ON AN ARTIST DATE. This is a solo journey that has nothing as a goal other than pure glee. You do not need to spend money but if buying an ice cream cone and sitting in your favorite nearby nature spot is what you need- DO IT. Maybe take yourself to the craft store and let yourself spend $10. An Artist date doesn’t need money…just time and a commitment to do something that you like doing.
-Hold an hour for yourself that remains schedule free (except for the fact that…duh you scheduled it to be free). When it pops up on your calendar, follow your damn bliss. If you wanna watch TV, go. If you wanna paint your nails, please do. If you need to just sit and breathe- that’s what this time is for. This is your hour. Plan as many into your week as you need. (1 hour a day maybe?…what a thought…giving ourselves 1 hour a day to do whatever the eff we want...groundbreaking)
ACTS OF SERVICE
-What’s the task you have been staring at since Quar began? For me, I had wanted to paint my walls since I moved into my apartment 3 years ago. And wow, if I had a nickel for every time I talked about it and thought about it and looked at my walls and thought “wow I’d love them so much more if they were blue”. I finally made it happen and it only took one day in February. I just had to buy the paint and pick a day. Again, money doesn’t have to be involved AT ALL and maybe the little things might just be doing laundry and washing dishes at the begging of the day so it’s all done.
-perform an act of service for a stranger. I know, I know “but this is about self love Clint!” LOVING OTHERS HELPS US LOVE OURSELVES OK?! Tip a little more at the coffee shop or buy the next persons coffee. Pick up some litter around the neighbs or see if your local shelter needs help with volunteers or making runs of groceries to the elderly or people with disabilites.
GIFTS
-K, so this one is pretty obvious but it also doesn’t have to include big $$$. We’re Anti-Capitalist over here ok! Is there a book you’ve been eyeing but haven’t let yourself purchase? Find it at a local book store (search here if you’re not sure how to find!) Maybe this gift is just buying your favorite ice cream at the grocery store on the next run. Or taking yourself to a local shop and getting one scoop in a cone. (Ice Cream keeps coming up so obviously I’m craving it and I apologize if it pops up in more examples.)
-Do you have some beautiful or useful things you are no longer using or getting joy from? A cute sweater, books you have read, or a journal you know you’ll never fill out? Wrap it up and surprise someone you love with it! (ANOTHER CHANCE TO SUPPORT THE USPS!)
TOUCH
-Two words: ice cream.
Just kidding.
SELF MASSAGE.
Sounds silly. Feels really f***ing good. Grab your favorite oil or lotion, start a bath, and get to work. Start with your feet (they do a lot for you all day and deserve some love), hit arms and legs, give your face and head some extra squeezes too. Once you finish pop into the bath and let all that good release fully submerge in the water.
-Include touch in your meditation practice. Hand on heart, over the third eye, touching your thighs or knees. Maybe adding some movement to the exploration of hand on body while you just focus on your breath. Letting the hands rest a little longer on places that need a little more of that contact love.
Alright, try one or all this week and lemme know how it goes. AND I’d like to hear if you have more suggestions for acts of self-love using the 5 love languages as a jumping off point.
As always, sending you light and love from Brooklyn.
xx,
Clinton
